Women are not children

Did you know that in Oregon, an ex-spouse can be forced to pay the other ex-spouse alimony for life?  Although the statute refers to "indefinite" alimony, what that really means is that if the payor needs a modification, he or she (and let's be honest and refer to the payor as "he") must hire a lawyer and take his former spouse to court.  That costs money - a lot of money - and there are no guarantees he will obtain a reduction or elimination.

Compare this system with our child support system.  When you bring a child into the world, you are only legally obligated to support that child until they reach the age of majority or otherwise become emancipated.  There is an end to the expectation of financial support (although many of us parents would admit we would continue to aid our children no matter what their age if they needed it).

Therefore, if a couple divorces and the stay-at-home spouse who has made a life choice not to work for 30 years is 54 years old, the working spouse will likely have to support her for several decades, depending upon her life expectancy.  There is a common misunderstanding that alimony ends if the payee remarries.  This is really not true unless the payee remarries someone with a larger income than the payor.  In addition, what motivation would the payee have to remarry, given the unearned money coming in from the ex every month?

Long-term alimony creates a dependent, weak and unmotivated recipient and a resentful payor, which does nothing to help the ongoing family dynamic to the extent they both wish one to exist, most especially when children are involved.

So ladies, are we independent and able to take care of ourselves, or are we little more than children - children who are never even expected under current family laws to grow up and be on our own?